Think back to your first romance. Chances are you’re probably thinking about something that happened to you in school, or not long after. These were the days when everything was brand new. When every touch, gesture, and even every word held so much significance, you thought about these things constantly. You strove to understand things by repeating them in your mind. What did it all mean? Was overthinking killing your relationship?

Now fast-forward to your current relationship. Maybe you’ve relaxed a little. You’ve learned to accept things at face value. You’re comfortable with who you’re with and who you are when you’re with them.


Or maybe you’re still spending a lot of time in your head trying to figure it all out.

The problem with this kind of overthinking is it can really kill a relationship. How? Think about these things:

You’re Obsessing Over Their Text Messages

It’s nearly impossible to hear a tone in a text message. Generally, we figure out what’s meant by context. What’s hard is when the messages are too short of providing the context you need. He sent you a heart. Yesterday’s heart was pink, and today’s is red. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? If this seems familiar, you might be overthinking things. The problem comes in when you’re guessing and ascribing emotions to something. Assumptions can really kill a relationship.

What About Your Reply?

If you’ve gotten past their message and are now spending hours on your own reply, you’re definitely overthinking. Try saying what’s on your mind instead, without all the head games.

Everyone is Confused

Are your thoughts all over the place? It might be time to stop and take stock of things. What are you thinking right now? Are you lost in the chaos? No wonder your partner can’t figure you out. It might be time to instill a little order, for everyone’s sake…including yours.

You’re Fighting Constantly

Anytime you get into an argument because you ‘think’ they had some meaning behind what they said, you’re overthinking things to the detriment of the relationship.

You’re Apologizing Again

If you’re assuming the blame for everything, because you’re pretty sure you can track every wrong back to your own doorstep, you’re definitely overthinking. No one can be wrong 100% of the time. Really, if you think about it long enough, you can find a way to link yourself back to just about anything. Was overthinking killing your relationship?

In just about every case, the quickest solution to overthinking in a relationship is to strive for better communication. Rather than stress about what you think someone is saying, or how they meant an action…ask. Talk over things that concern you in a healthy way and leave the assumptions at home. Once you’ve cleared the air, you’ll be amazed at how much better the relationship goes.